What’s A Compliment To You?

​I wore shoes to class yesterday — the first time. It was the second, actually. I avoided everyone I knew the first day. Anyway, as I walked into class yesterday afternoon, a friend kinda complimented me. She said she liked my dressing. It sounded a little odd to me because the only thing different about me was that I wore shoes instead of my usual slippers. Maybe it did make sense, that’s if my shoes in anyway altered my usual appearance. There was an awkwardness after she spoke. I can’t quite remember what my response was; if I had given any, but she asked if I was shy. I didn’t — still don’t — know how to react to comments, compliments, stares and whatnot. That was why I avoided people I knew.

Later in class, I asked another friend if she liked compliments and her reply was, “Yes. Everybody does.” In my opinion, I don’t know for everyone, her statement isn’t completely wrong or true. I think a lot of people like compliments. Some people don’t. I’ve met people who dislike being Hi’d or greeted, so it’s possible.

For me, a compliment is more complicated than it should be. It confuses me, makes me sorta defensive mentally. While, coming from some people, I’d appreciate it, I generally prefer having nothing said to me. I hate having to know that people notice things about me. And because I can never really tell what’s on a person’s mind when they say something, their sincerity is always debated in my mind. Even when I know they are being sincere, I never know what to say and I lose control of my facial expression. You might say, “Just say ‘Thank you.’”, but even that becomes hard to say even though I want to.

Unlike most situations, it doesn’t leave me blank. It just confuses me. And I hate the stares. I’m scopophobic. So there.

I’d say that while I don’t necessarily like compliments, I don’t really dislike them.

That’s me. To you, what’s a compliment?

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